Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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Sarah Palin

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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if you read this you are gay

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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