Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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who has brown eyes blonde hair and red lips a human-being

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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A white man asks a black man, "Did you fall into a chimney?" and laughs. The man proceeds to wash off his hands and face to reveal beautiful, dark-brown skin. Then they both joke about it because they are best friends.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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