What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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A. Hey.. B. Hi

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Why did robin get in the batmobile? Batman told him to

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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Sarah Palin

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

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Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

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Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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