A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

thumb_up thumb_down -149

how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

thumb_up thumb_down -163

Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +80

An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

PATHETIC

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops