What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

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what do a parrot and a hippo have in common? i want to kill every non white human being!!!!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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gabbi nunez ;)

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Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

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black chicken. kfc

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A Minister a Priest and a Rabi walk into a bar, they are not setting a very good example.

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why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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say cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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