why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there?

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

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Hey

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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