What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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Morning wood.

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What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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Ain't idn't a word.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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-_- i like trains ... -_-

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I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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