what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

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A man was caught by the Aztecs for stealing from their tombs. The Aztecan chief said,"Sometime during the next week I will kill you, but I will do it when you least expect." The man was then given a room. He deduced that he couldn't be killed on the last day, Saturday, or else he would see it coming, so it must be before Saturday. He then deduced that it couldn't be on Friday, because he would expect it to be before Saturday. He used this logic to rule out every other day of the week, therefore the Aztecan chief would never kill him. He was killed on Wednesday.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

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Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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Check out page 4016 :)

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If you like this, it will have one extra like

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Why didn't the black man get the scholarship? Because he didn't apply for it.

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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