Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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What do you call a fat priest? Obese

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Women's rights

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your moms soooooo FAT that she went on a diet and became really sexy

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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