A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

TEST! ACTUALLY READ THIS! 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. 3. The King of the Forest is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend? The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal conference.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Andy Carrol

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops