If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The guy above me has a very nice joke

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

24

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops