What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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How do you put elephant in refrigerator? Open the door, and put the elephant in

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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what has 52 teeth and holds back a monster? my zipper

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I would rape her

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Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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