Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

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2 pilots rowed a boat across the desert. How long did it take to reach the moon? Answer: Purple because chickens don't use magic.

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Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

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What's the difference between a cult leader and a television personality? On average, 3.2 inches.

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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How does a black man put puzzles together? First, he locates the four corners. Next, he begins filling in the sides. Finally, he uses the picture on the box to fill in the center. It can be a very tedious process if he is not paying attention.

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Funny names Alec Balls Isaac Balls Dick Hedd Willy lickerr Lydia Stick Gaylord Sugar Fanny Gouger

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Hi

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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Penis. (Note: if you get this you have a dirty ass)

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Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

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roses are red violet is blue sugar is sweet f*ck you im a moon

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this is not a joke.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Chikin nuggets are cooler than your mom!!!!!!!

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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