"Is the Pope a Catholic?" Yes.

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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knock knock who's there me me who? me me me me who? me me me me me me who? and the more the joke continues the less funny and more annoying it gets

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Q.Anti-jokes are funny? A.Depends on your opinion

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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Why are all of the cars in the left lane? Because you are in Winona MN.

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i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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im a willy bum bum

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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Okay, an ambulance is arriving for me (cops called it whatever I am fine) If you are still reading this then get the fuck out before I fire you no more messages.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

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Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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Violets are blue, Roses are red, I like to mix up my poems.

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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