Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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A Sloth runs...

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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knock knock who's there? hope

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Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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Moral"We all miss someone sometimes during our life, but just remain patient as you aim again, reload and hit that someone!"

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What did the hispanic guy say after he took a bite out of a McDonald's hot n' spicy chicken sandwhich. I'm lovin' it.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

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How do you fit 10 dead babies in a bowl? A blender How do you get them out? Chips

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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what's a self-driving car 10 years from now? probably just "a car".

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What to you call a Muslim person on a plane? A passenger

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Q: Why did the black man call the white man a rasict? A:because he called him black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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