roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this makes no sense microwave.

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Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

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what did Harry Potter get for christmas? ... nothing his parents are dead !

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a murderer.

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Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

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If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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