roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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What did the Pitchfork say to the Gremlin? Nothing, because its a pitchfork, and gremlin's don't exist.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay guy's house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

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Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

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Q: Why did the little boy who just got over a terrible sore throat fall down the stairs? A: His legs were brutally torn off by wolves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops