How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -13

knock knock who's there auntie auntie who? anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the police officer say to the black man? "I am a police officer."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get if you cross a nan and a car? A squashed dead nan who released their bowels and your grandads face who was also dead as they had a cardiac arrest

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was something of interest on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do u know that your obese ? People stare at you

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blind man walks past a fish market, pauses, takes in a big sniff, and says, "Good morning ladies!" to the women walking by wearing too much perfume.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

LET

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -15

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hey babies The holocaust called, they want their screams back.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why is six afraid of seven? because six is a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops