A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

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Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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Wanna Hear a joke.... Corey Jacobs is a FAT ASS

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Chuck Norris once punched a horse in the chin. Nearby people were disgusted at this act and immediately reported him for animal abuse. Today he is in prison

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John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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