A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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whats white and looks like paper paper

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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what do JFK, plato, and a dead penguin have in common? theyre all dead.

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What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

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what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

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-Knock Knock ~Who's there? -It's your mother ~Go away

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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