what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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who's sexually attracted to bones? James Cornish

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

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Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

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Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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