Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What did the black kid get for christmas? A wii with duel contollers and a 2 year insurance for it incase it gets robbed or damaged

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

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Gay Rights

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What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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Q: what is long hard and full of seamen A: a submarine

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I was Writing and i broke my pencil

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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