How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

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What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

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Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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But then it wouldn't be an anti joke ya bellendo

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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What did the cancer patient get for his birthday HIV

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

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1: Knock knock. 2: Who's there? 1: Boo. 2: Please do come on in Boo, its so lovely to see you!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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Say this fast: Alpha kenny body sofa king hard with mike hawk. :)

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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