When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

7

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the baby fall down from the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -2

hiya

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops