did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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you give like i give lomain

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- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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Your future.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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