What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the rapper Proof say when he got in a fight? Nothing, Proof is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke again? Bubbles was the girl next door, Jonny raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

who ever is reading this....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the middle-aged black man lose his job? Because in this day in age, many businesses are being forced to lower their pay-roll, and he could no longer be afforded.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops