three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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What did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for his birthday? AIDS

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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Cripples are lame.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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EVAN RAMSEY -CAD CLASS!

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This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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