Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Gay Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Do you like your life? No. OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call it when the sh*t hits the fan? The sh*t hits the fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops