What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

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Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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Tough crowd tonight...

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? Subscribe to find out; starting at only $14.99 a month! For more jokes similar to this one, subscribe to "Horrible Jokes" for $95 a month! Subscription Plans: - $14.99: Answer one joke per month - $49.99: The above plan... PLUS a free copy of "Antijoke, the book" - $99.99: A free cookie - $1099.99: A free cookie and a pass to the dark side - $0.25: Eternal happiness Order now for best prices! Or else we'll burn down your house and kill your extended family! Thank you!

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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so dont touch it.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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