Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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You know whats worse than getting punched in the face? Getting kicked in the balls.

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what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

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What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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This is not a joke

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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penus

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

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Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

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How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

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Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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What you reading? reading?

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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