- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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obama's promises

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

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What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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* anti-punchline

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops