Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the baby die, because he got herpes, so did his mother, there both dead now.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's sad about 2 black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the diabetic boy with Celiac get for christmas? A gift from his loving parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two gay guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would notice...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left his fence open and the chicken happened to cross a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what do you call a young man? a little boy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops