Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

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Hahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahah :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I screw with you Hahahahahahahahahaahaggahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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Terrorist jokes make me explode with laughter.

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People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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