Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

i am and me is i

A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

What job did the black man apply for?.. Several, its a downward economy.

Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

never bring a knife to a gun fight. bring a sword.

What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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