Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

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What do black people and apples have in common? They are both fruit... except for black people

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

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How do you drown a black man? You refuse to help him due to your pride and therefore you are no longer a decent member of society.

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He threw it, because he had parkinson's!

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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What you reading? reading?

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A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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all your base are belong to mark

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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Theres a monkey that walks into a bar. I forget the rest of the joke but your moms a w****

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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