Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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Where's my baby??

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

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what do you call a nun in a wheel chair? Virgin Mobile By: jb lshs

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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Q: How many dwarfs does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1 or 2. One to change the light bulb and maybe another one to guards the staircase for the safety of the first one when the ceiling is too high (Wich happens almost every time because they are dwarfs.)

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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How do you get a women stop running a marathon? You tell her that you have AIDS and she should get herself checked.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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