Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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What is the difference between a woman and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is the most common term for adult females of the human race.

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Yo mamma is so old that she died.

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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Erectile Dysfunction.

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Q. Dr.evil? JHHHHHHHHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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Paper shield.

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Two gay men walk into a bar. Holding hands.

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

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What's worse then the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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