How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

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Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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knock, knock. come in.

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow Jones.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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How Do You Fart Eat Beans

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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