Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

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Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

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Your mom is so poor, she can't afford nice clothing.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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