You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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Q- Who is the life of the party? A- hannah schane

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

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what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

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So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

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Gingers.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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