what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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Bean.

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Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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A plane is going to land at 3:30, if the monkey is holding a gun how does the bus driver commite suicide 12, because the laywer attacked the dyslexic man.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

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What did Hellen Keller name her dog? Her parents named it Spot; Hellen Keller isn't able to speak due to her handicapped muteness.

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I pooped.

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops