Today is May 18 2016.

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow" you don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement.

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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whats a dick a dick

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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Why was Adam sad? His wife found him cheating with several women which led to a lengthy and messy divorce and him losing custody of his two children and his house.

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When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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Why was the baby crying? Because you repeatly hit it in the face with a brick, you sick freak.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What is yellow and can shot? A Banon.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Leukemia.

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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