What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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What's funnier than killing a bunch of orphans? Pretty much anything is funnier than that. What's wrong with you?

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Susie sells seashells by the seashore. Susie was a schizophrenic bitch who caused irreversible harm to her family and those close to her. She also had underage sex with a black guy named John. He was actually a pretty decent guy, but he decided to smoke weed a couple times when his dad was going through some tough times. His dad resented him for this fact and it caused unresolved tension between them for years. This caused John to go out and seek younger girls to have sex with, to fill the emptiness he and his dad's relationship left him with. Meanwhile, Susie was falling in love with John, not knowing his many dark secrets he had tried best to keep hidden from her. Eventually, all of these things come out in the open, and Susie still respects him and ultimately loves him even more for being so honest.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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