Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

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what happens if you set micheal jackson on fire nothing he is 6 feet under incased in concrete if he wasnt hed melt

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Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Bra*don Che*ey is tall. Facebook me please... Im desperate

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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What's 9+10? 19

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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Q: What comes first the chicken or the egg? A: Pineapple.

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In Soviet Russia... People Die for Voicing their Opinions

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back? That would be a very unlikely thing to happen, unless a mildly scary predator was released in front of them, or they weren't all stepping back at the same time.

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops