Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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Q. What is black and nobody cares when they step on it? A. Asphalt

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why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

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A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

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Hi

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I watched The Pianist last night? Holocaust

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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a man walks into a bar. he orders a single drink, enjoys it, and drives home feeling a bit tipsy, but he was still able to operate his vehicle without an accident or a criminal charge.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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What do you call a sandwich that has sandwich on it? A sandwich.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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An Asian Man Has His Eyes Wide Open

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Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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