What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the World Chicken Road Crossing Competition.

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

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The town was so small. The ferris wheel was green.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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troll----> hahaha---->

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what do you get when you cross a scotsman who doe'snt know anything about football,and a indian who doe'snt anything about football .blackburn rovers , and a good night out.

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How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

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Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

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You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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