What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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1,2,3,4,5... 6.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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Justin Bieber's mother.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

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What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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yes... that's the joke

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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