Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

thumb_up thumb_down +16

This would be racist to black people if they could read.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Cows are land manatees.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The Christian Bible.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man suck at basketball? Because he is white, 5 foot 2, and has no arms. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops