How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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