Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A baptist priest walks into a bar with a boner.

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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Why was the fat guy sad? his daughter is slowly dying of anorexia why was the fat guy sad? his daughter was raped by a giant panda bear

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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WWII veteran screamed! "You d@mn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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Religious fanatics: WE MUST NOT SIN! Jesus: And I died for their sins? They do not even try a bit of sex and rock and roll? Now that is a sin :( I died for nothing then :( Religious fanatics: Damn!

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops